stepping outside the fire

I once heard a chaplain say that spiritually, we are like coals. If we keep ourselves inside the fire, we will stay hot, but once removed, we get cold. That if we want to be on fire for God, and keep on our spiritual path, we have to keep our self inside his flame at all times and never step too far away or we will cool down.

I only became a Christian 4 years ago, but I know this concept too well. I wish I could say that I have been on fire this whole time and that I have no idea what it feels like to spiritually cool down, but I am human.

The past week or so, I have found myself further and further away from the warmth of Gods flame. Last week Sonny was sick and it was the first time in a long time that we just didn't go to church. Add that to Anthony getting ready to leave, Sonny getting his 2 year molars, and you get a very cold spirited Crystal. I am not proud of it, but it is reality.

It is crazy how fast you can be led off the path, and how much strength and work it is to get back on. Its like dieting! Lately my thoughts have been a little less pure than I would like, Anthony isn't as sweet as he seemed the week before, the kids somehow stopped behaving, and I feel like I am on a bad carnival ride I just want to get off!!!! OK, well it isn't that bad, but you know what I mean.

So I went to Church today, with a little more attitude than I should have, and when we got there late I blamed it all on Anthony. The church was packed, we had to sit at the top like sardines, and I couldn't see a thing. The whole time I kept saying to myself "you have the worst attitude ever! You are supposed to be a Christian, act like one. Find SOMETHING to be positive about." I knew I was totally wrong in all my ways this morning, but I had been living in that mind set for almost 2 weeks and even there at church it was SOOOO hard to get out of it.

They started worship and I saw some kids I know up on stage and they looked adorable, then there were a few baptisms, one of a kid that we had been teaching all December. Then there was a great message, followed by an awesome video, and last but not least, a blurb about a man that over came a pretty bad card. By the time the service was up, I felt completely renewed!!!! I know going to a Sunday service doesn't make you a Christian, and it can't save your soul. It isn't a rule that you must keep in order to join the Christian club, but boy how it can be a great tool in your spiritual walk. I don't go because I feel like if I don't I will look bad, I go because I need to be around all those people who are on the same road I am on. The normal sinning people who maybe had a bad few weeks like me. I can go, be reminded of whats important, be convicted of my wrongful ways, and enjoy the company of the ones who I will be spending eternity with.

I still have to tweak my mindset, but going to church today was everything I needed. If you haven't found a home church, I pray that you will seek one out. It can be hard, but if you do it prayerfully, God will lead you where you need to be. Sometimes if you can't find a church that you feel you bennefit from, maybe you can try finding a church that can at least bennefit from your service. I pray this finds you on fire for the Lord.