Feeling useless

Tonight I am doing our large group time for the elementary kids at our church. Our story tonight comes out of Philemon. It is about feeling useful because you belong to God. It goes on to tell the story about a slave who runs away after stealing from his owner. He runs into Paul and is a big help, becomes a Christian and then goes back not as a slave, but as a useful brother. The point to get across to the kids tonight is really to teach them that no matter how useless they feel, God can always use them.

Whenever I do these group times, I think I learn more than the kids. With being a mom and wife, all my jobs can become overwhelming. Cleaning, schooling, nurturing, errands, cooking and so on. There are days that I feel as if I had accomplished nothing. I look into the future and wonder how many more kids I will even be able to handle, especially when they ALL are in school. Then I rehearsed my skit for tonight and it really reminded me of just why I will be able to handle it all.

I myself wouldn't. The Bible is clear that God wants all the glory to go to him. If we could boast about ourselves, that would not honor God. If I could wake up and do it all on my own without ever praying, reading my Bible, and leaning utterly on my God, what kind of a testimony would that bring him? To wake up and feel defeated before I even roll out of bed, to feel as if I am never going to be able to get through the day, where does that put my faith in the Lord. I almost feel as if thinking those things is a big slap in his face. As if I am saying "Lord your grace is not enough, you are not sufficient for me, and I don't think you are strong enough to help me through this".

Its not like this was all new to me, but I forget it and need those gentle reminders, and today was one. Like a breath of fresh air reminding me just where my strength and ability comes from. "......for apart from me you can do nothing" John 15:5 I am useful and I can make a difference in my family everyday, but not because I am strong, not because I am smart, not because I have all the answers, but because I serve an all powerful, gracious and loving God.